45 Days of Erotica. Day 4. A Piece Of the Middle East.
I don’t pretend to
act like I know why America always seems to be at beef with the
Middle East, but I do have a theory. President Obama walks into a liquor
store, and sees the clerk’s hot wife behind the counter ringing up lottery tickets. After grabbing a 40 and a pack of smokes, he leaves angry and heads back to the White House, where he and his coalition map out a plan to initiate war on Iraq. Why? For
hiding all those hot women under burkas and niqabs, hogging all the
tang (up to 4 wives), and refusing to share with American men. When in doubt, blame
crazy talk, but what isn’t so farfetched is the insane beauty of
these women. We have a high concentration of Middle Eastern people in
Detroit, and while you don’t see them all that often, the women I
have seen are almost unbelievably gorgeous. Like angels fell out of
the sky and landed in the hood. I feel bad for not knowing their
exact nationality – Iraqi, Arabian,or Lebanese – I don’t know, so I’ll just
say Middle Eastern Women are hot.
So to end our ongoing feud with Middle Easterners of the Muslim persuasion, here’s what I propose:
1. Middle Eastern women shouldn’t be made to wear those ninja suits in public. They should be allowed to flaunt and be proud of their physical assets. I know some of them choose to wear this gear for cultural reasons, so we’re gonna have to start embedding American customs in their heads at an early age.
2. Middle Eastern women should be better integrated into the American public. With all the Middle Eastern people in the Detroit area, I shouldn’t have to go a liquor store, gas station, or niche restaurant just to see Jasmine Hussein. I wanna see them walking down my block and during those occasional trips to the strip club.
3. American males … not just soldiers on duty … should have a free pass to travel to Iraq, visit the local strip club equivalent, and enjoy some freaky belly dancing without fear of someone running in and suicide bombing the joint.
If Obama could sign this into global law before his term ends in 2016, that would be sweet.