I think most horror fans would agree
that vampires are the coolest of so-called movie monsters. They boast
superhuman strength. They travel with the greatest of ease. They’re
rockstars in the sack. And they ooze so much machismo, that they can
glamour a bitch out of her social security number and Facebook login just like that. Plus, the most historically known vampire
is named after me. Just saying.

In the film world, vampire movies are
hit or miss. And considering how many movies suck nowadays, that’s
definitely a good thing. Cause it’s like a 50/50 chance that you’ll
run across something decent. Seriously, there are a lot of quality
vampire flicks out here from so many eras, too. My first love was The Lost
Boys
. Probably in my Top 10 All-time Favorite movies. Vampires just
don’t get any cooler than David and the boys.

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Ohhh … also can’t forget Vamp, which
I saw when I was probably too young to be watching it. Even back
then, I could tell that this movie set out to highlight the eroticism
so heavily associated with vampires. Grace Jones was freaky as hell! We saw a much more vicious side of vamps with Quentin Tarantino’s
From Dusk Til Dawn. What I love about this movie is that I went to
the show not really knowing anything about the plotline. So I was
like WTF! when about half-way through the movie, bitches break out
the fangs and start feasting on dudes. Pleasantly surprised. Such a
classic!!   

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Even when shit went left and got to
sparkling, True Blood helped set the trend back on course with a
breed of sexy bloodsuckers we could appreciate. SOOKIE. 

Yes indeed. Vampires
are awesome, and it’s cool to see how different storytellers take the fundamental lore then twist and shape it in their own way. Still, I can
only go so far back in the vampire time machine. Anything earlier
than the 70’s is mucked up with prototypical fuckery. Down to the cape-wearing, Fonzie-collared “I want to bite your neck” ass
nigga.

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