The deeper I assimilate into the erotica community, the more I start to notice certain patterns. Trends, such as the blurring of the lines between fiction and real-life stories. I recently caught up with author Alexia Knight to discuss how these elements merge and converge in her universe.
First thing’s first: can you please explain the premise behind Tinderella Diary?
I was feeling neglected and frustrated in my marriage and one day I downloaded Tinder and it quickly led me on a journey of self-discovery through sexual exploration that continues to this day. About a month into this journey, I couldn’t believe the things I was experiencing and the life I was living and decided, “This needs to be a book.” I was living this crazy life without my husband (or anyone really) being aware of it, and I needed a way to vent.
The book is not a love story or a fantasy. It basically details a series of casual sexual encounters in frank language (like a girl dishing to her best friend) that includes humor, sociological observations, and self-reflection. The book tells the truth about what happens when a married woman seeks hook-up sex, at least from my perspective.
Yes, the story is primarily erotica and the intention is to titillate, but readers will also see how my character grows and learns about herself throughout the book. Each encounter, be it positive or negative, served to teach me something about myself and my sexuality, and I am grateful for everyone (Except Taylor, fuck that guy!). This evolution continues through the two sequels.
How much of this book, if any of it, is culled from real-life experiences?
Tinderella Diary is entirely true. It was born from my actual diary entries as well as actual messages, Tinder profiles, and encounters. The dialogue in the book is not made up. I added nothing to the storyline to ‘spice it up’ and I took nothing away from it that was humiliating or embarrassing. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. I couldn’t have made up some of this shit that happened to me. It was important to me to tell a true story. I am a real woman, not a supermodel, and I was having incredible sex. A lot of it.
Can you share the core ideas behind parts two and three without giving away too much?
In Book 1, which takes place during the course of a single summer, there are some ‘naughty parties’ that are depicted. Book 2, takes place during the 6 months following the summer, and dives deeper into the world of the naughty parties and the people at them. There are several characters who are recurring through one or both sequels. Another interesting detail about book 2, is that it ends with the dawn of Covid, and there is some foreshadowing throughout the 2nd half of the book which will resonate with readers since we all went through it together.
Book 3 takes place entirely during the pandemic, over the course of a full year, which adds many layers to the plot of the story. Life as we know it changes for everyone, and there are obstacles to having a secret sex life. Not only that, but my character is still evolving in her sexual desires and refining what she wants overall, and she has amassed what I refer to as a ‘deep bench of regulars.’ While there is no shortage of casual hook-ups with strangers in book 3, the focus is on the relationships that have developed, or are developing, and these are explored over a longer period of time.
The series itself is a bit meta. In book 2, my character mentions that she is planning on writing a book, and somewhere along the line she finishes a rough draft. And while living book 3 in real life, I was promoting book 1 and writing book 2. Things got crazy. Currently, I am midway though writing book 3, and in the beginning no one knew I was writing a book. People in my life unknowingly became characters, and now people reading book 1 or 2 are becoming characters in book 3. That said, I never engage in any sexual encounter with the purpose of writing about it. It’s not a game for me. I do what I feel, try not to hurt anyone’s feelings, and then write about it later. Likewise, I don’t get together with anyone who just wants to be a chapter.
So how long have you been writing? And what inspired you to pursue it professionally?
Ever since I was a young adult reader I wanted to be a novelist. I always thought I would be a YA novelist (I include some of my coming of age sex stories in my books, because that information is necessary for the present day story to makes sense). I used to read YA books, and Chick Lit novels and skip right to the sex scenes, and thought what if I wrote something with all sex scenes. When I had the idea to write Tinderella Diary the story just wrote itself. I also write poetry, and I include some in books 2 and 3/
What do you hope for readers to take from your book(s)?
I have been together with my husband since I was 16, so I missed out not only on the wild times people have in their late teens and 20s, but also basic stuff, like dating, being courted, being stood up, or regretting a one night stand. I have always been a highly sexual person, but was repressed in a monogamous vanilla marriage. I didn’t even realize it until I started exploring. Some women read my book and say, “Hey, that was me in my 20s”, others will read it hoping to live through my stories vicariously. I originally wrote it to be ‘housewife porn’, but I am finding that men very much like to read about the musings of an unapologetically sexual woman, and I am catering to that audience as well.
My books are a celebration of self-love. Women are trained from a young age to hate our bodies, hide our sexual urges, and be ashamed of our choices. We contort our bodies into what we think is acceptable for the world. I had an epiphany, which is depicted early on in Tinderella Diary, when I realized my body is a gift, my sexuality is a gift, and I am going to enjoy the body I am in NOW, and not need anyone else’s approval. That was a freeing and life changing revelation.
My core theme of the book is that “life is best when you are living it”. Why wait until a pandemic to realize what you want, and then it’s gone? Why wait until your kids are grown up to enjoy sex? Why deprive yourself sexually if your spouse is unwilling or unable? Why beg someone for something you can get from someone else? One of my favorite things as a writer is when people message me telling me ways they have made active choices in how they have decided to ‘live their life’. A man filed for divorce from his wife because he is tired sleeping in a cold bed. A woman unappreciated in her marriage finally jumped into the sack with that hot guy at work. A middle-aged virgin told me he went down on a woman for the first time. A divorced woman started dating again, instead of waiting until she lost 10 pounds. A newly single man got the nerve to send a message to that hot girl on Facebook, and she messaged him back!
What are the biggest challenges you’ve faced in promoting your work?
This is a major issue. I am a married woman telling my true story. I don’t want my family, friends and coworkers knowing I wrote it. I had to build a social media following from scratch, because I couldn’t tap from my existing network of people who would be most likely to support me by buying a book or leaving a review. I had to build a fan base organically, and that takes time, diligence and patience. And I maintain none of those qualities.
I joke around that if every man depicted in the book bought a copy, it would be best seller. Truthfully, I am petrified of them reading it (at least knowing I was the author) and only a small handful even know it exists. My husband knows I have written them, and that they are erotica, but doesn’t know what’s in them, or that they are my true stories.
What channels or methods have you found most effective in promoting your work?
Facebook has been the most effective by far, because people tend to be older (my target demo), can read, and can hold an attention span. BUT, since my ASS is on the cover of my first book, my content is occasionally removed, and I fear being banned. I also use Instagram and Twitter. Instagram is difficult because I lack the photography and graphic skills to be successful in that type of visual media; I thrive with the printed word, hence Facebook working out well. With Twitter, it is hard to rise above all the noise and I want to be known as a writer and not a porn star, so it’s difficult to be provocative and attention grabbing, without feeling like I am selling myself instead of my literature.
I plan to use OnlyFans for readings, Reddit for mature yet literary content, and TikTok because I heard it works for some writers.
What would you consider the ideal date night or romantic evening? Or are you more the surprise me, spontaneous type?
Theoretically, I am up for anything and like to have a good time. The first time I went to a sex club, a guy on Tinder asked me, “Are you adventurous?” and we just went for it. I’ve also flown across country to meet a man who had never seen my face because he sent me a ticket. But realistically, I am a wife, mother, and I work full time, so I usually need to plan things in advance. Also, I have 37 people hitting me up every day, the one who makes the best offer is going to win. And ’best’ is of course relative to what my needs are that day…. A frantic quickie and then off to football practice? Marathon sex? A therapeutic massage? A hike? A candle light dinner and a walk on the beach? Generally, sex is a very high priority for me. But I have lots of options and some good vibrators at home. These days, I need more than an orgasm.
Beyond the Tinderella series, what’s next for Alexia Knight, the author?
Tinderella Diary needs to be a series, I am thinking Showtime or Netflix, or whoever will let the content live without watering down the sexual content or making it too glossy or gritty.
I plan to write some non-fiction books discussing adult sexuality, couples dynamics, and exploration of sexual propensities. I am fascinated about sex, having it, writing about it, talking about it, and I am interested in the science of sex, sociologically and anthropologically. I am sure I will continue in that vein for a while.
How can potential readers connect and support your work?
My books are available in paperback and ebook form on Amazon and Bookbaby. I also have some paperback copies available with my autograph and a personal message which can be purchased from me to be shipped immediately. I love connecting with my readers and talking about the books, or sex in general, or just about anything.
Here are some ways you can reach me:
https://www.facebook.com/alexia.knight.102 (my personal page, but it’s filling up fast)
https://www.facebook.com/AlexiaKnightAuthor (my author page)
https://www.facebook.com/tinderelladiary (my book page)
Twitter: @tinderella_____ (that is 5 underscore)